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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?